I am not and will not be the victim of your suffering. At times, I question the why of events. I realize now that not all things that happen to me, as a result of being in contact with another person, means it should be taken personally by me. Sometimes the actions or words that seem to be directed to me are designed to make me feel as though they are personal. Understanding that most of the time they are not still leaves me asking "Why?"
The words and actions of others is not because of you. Their words and actions are a projection of their own reality, their own dreams, their own fears. When you accept that the opinions and actions of others is not your burden to bear, you won't be the victim of his or her suffering.
We all have our own ogres! Own those that are yours! Other's ogres (monsters, fears, insecurities, etc.) cannot be managed, changed or improved by me or you. That is not within the scope of mine or your abilities. Send out agape love. The love that Jesus professed for all mankind. The love that we are taught to share with the world. (Katrina victims, the homelss, the informed....) when life has caused him or her hardships. Our experiences may not be as devastating, but in the moment, it is causing pain and suffering to the person who is experiencing their own victimization.
We have survived thus far, with pray and grace. We must own who we are so that we can continue to grow. We will do what needs to be done to simplify our lives, even if we are the only ones loving our life. If someone feels they need me to take their advice, they are welcome to come and walk in my shoes. My life is full enough. I have no desire to interject myself into someone else's life. God made me unique and perfect, just as I am today.
Written and submitted by St. Aquilla P. Lanier
Third Tabernacle Greensboro, North Carolina, U.S.A.